Suggesting Mediation to a Spouse

As a litigator, collaborative lawyer, and mediator, Mr. Darren M. Shapiro has the skills required to offer a range of solutions to his clients when it comes to the divorce process, and many related family law cases. Today decisions regarding divorce, equitable distribution, child custody, and more, don’t have to be made through aggressive litigation and court – instead, there are opportunities available for couples to come together and discuss their needs in a neutral setting. Mediation is a flexible solution for determining the financial needs of a divorce – or what might need to be done regarding parenting time and child custody. However, as Mr. Shapiro has seen in the past – just because one individual considers mediation to be a good solution, doesn’t mean that the other spouse will agree.

The first step in creating a platform for consideration of other divorce processes, is to broach the topic of mediation with your partner. Some couples already know that mediation is the chosen process for them. For others, sometimes patience and caution should be used when having this conversation. It can help to be respectful of the needs of the other person when it comes to tackling the emotional stress and disruption of divorce. Once you are in the right mindset to consider mediation, you may benefit from finding a way to present the topic on neutral ground. This means finding a topic that applies to both of you, and showing how it relates to the mediation process.

One good way to outline the benefits of mediation, is to address the possibility as a way to minimize fallout for any children involved in the relationship. Mr. Darren Shapiro has often found that mediation can present a less distressing solution for parents – particularly when it comes to ensuring good relationships are maintained between ex-spouses for the sake of children. After a hard fought litigation, where mud-slinging often comes into play, relationships are often strained. During mediation, you will be able to determine any decisions that are important to you about child support and parenting – meaning that it is more likely you will find a way to work together on an agreement that you can both live with.

Another option, is to consider aspects of finances, and time when it comes to mediation in divorce. If you don’t have children to worry about, then the chances are that you’re going to have some financial concerns. When it comes to considering the various processes that can be used for divorce, it’s safe to say that mediation is generally one of the least expensive options in terms of money and time. Informing a reluctant spouse that they could save money, and also push the divorce procedure through as quickly as possible, should help to ensure that he or she begins to see the benefits of mediation from your perspective.

No matter the angle you choose to broach the topic of mediation from, remember that it may help to maintain the correct frame of mind, and the right attitude when communicating with your spouse. It is all too easy for the people involved in a divorce to become highly emotional and agitated, and this can lead to problems with communication, and more. Mr. Darren M. Shapiro often recommends that his clients present mediation to a spouse as a form of alternative dispute resolution. The more information that one spouse can give to the other about the process of mediation, the more likely it is that the spouse in question will not feel as nervous about the concept of avoiding litigation. The message might sink in if one points out how the process can be a useful solution for both of you, and even the other spouse specifically.

If after your attempts to present mediation in a positive and helpful light, you still find that your spouse is unwilling to consider the concept of mediation, then it’s important to remain calm. Don’t try to goad, push, or threaten your spouse into trying mediation – as this won’t lead to a positive result in the overall process. Mediation is a voluntary and collaborative process, and must be entered into willingly. Consider asking your spouse why they feel uncomfortable or concerned about the idea of mediation, and try to look for ways that you can make them feel more comfortable about the process. On the other hand, if emotions are high, try giving the matter some time and try approaching the subject again at a later time. In some cases, you will find that your spouse simply needed time to think about all of his or her options in detail, before they were able to come to a conclusion. But, mediation is not for everyone. There is also collaborative law, which is another alternative dispute resolution route. Settlement negotiations are possible under the more traditional model and of course litigation is always a possibility.

Mr. Darren M. Shapiro and a range of other professionals believe that mediation is a good way for people to save money and time during a complex divorce procedure. At the same time, it also can usually eliminate interactions with judges and courts as you come to terms about your future. If your partner is unable to fully understand the prospect of mediation after your explanations, it might be a good idea to suggest a free consultation with your chosen mediator. Talking to Mr. Shapiro for up to half an hour could give you both a better insight into the process of mediation, and what you can expect. Usually, Mr. Shapiro finds that this free consultation gives clients the comfort they need to determine whether mediation might work for them. At the same time, during the free initial consultation, there’s no pressure to stick to mediation as a solution for your divorce, or pay any money to anyone for the time that you have spent exploring the possibility.

If you are thinking about using the process of mediation as a way of coming to terms about your divorce or the family law matters that can follow divorce, please contact Mr. Darren M. Shapiro at your earliest convenience to schedule a free, half-hour consultation for you and your spouse together. You can get in touch at (516) 333-6555 on the phone, or fill out our online form.